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[ She sighs and shakes her head to herself, ]

He just... he was from a different time when he came here. Didn't know me, didn't realize he still had a family in us. It made it hard to talk to him. Be around him. Feeling all that anger and pain.

[ Though she had tried to seek some solace when he was the only one left after Charles and Logan left. He had been more closed off than she would have liked. Especially when she knew he was capable of more. ]

[ Charles frowns intently. He doesn't say it, but that obatinate point made upon his arrival sticks out in his mind: he'd given control of the school--which always means the care of people in it--to a man who seemingly paid it no consideration? ]

Jean, I'm sorry.

[ He had no idea. Sincerely, none. Erik had made such a point of his previous trust (even if Charles still remembers none of it, no matter how he tries to pry backward). He'd questioned it, of course, but seemingly for the wrong reasons.

Why would Erik have said yes, if this was the result?

He sighs heavily, and pushes up from the chair to the edge of her bed. ]

He has, unfortunately, always been...touchy. [ Anything worse feels like speaking ill of the dead, even if...no, that isn't literal. ] Was he like this when I was here the last time too?

[ Softly, ]

You don't have to apologize for him. You didn't make him that way.

[ Jean knows it was Erik that chose to act the way he did. Just like all of them have a responsibility for acting how they do. Though his question makes her frown at the underside of her blankets. ]

He arrived here like that.

[ A pause. ]

He had blood on him. Other people's blood.

[ He can't help the tired sound that escapes at that. Of course. Of course it had been right then. Charles still feels for his family, the family that always seems to be in the line of fire when it comes to Erik, but he still finds it difficult to reconcile the events to what he'd seen of his behavior. Especially when he'd just come out of what he had thought--terribly--would be their final argument. ]

His family.

[It's a quiet admission, and it goes no further. It wouldn't even if he had the story. But all he remembers is Raven's arrival and Erik's anger upon questioning...and then every other time it had come up here too.]

Getting him to realize that he has people who care, unfortunately, has been a long journey, and no one is changing that overnight.

[ Nor over a matter of months, it seems. Erik never could tell him why he'd even stayed. He can't expect the same explanation he could have back home. ]

[ Just as softly as before; ]

I know.

[ She had known it had been his family. She had known about Peter not being able to tell Erik the truth, that he still had a son in the world. But she had also seen Erik move beyond his grief, see him put others before his own pain. While she hadn't wanted him to leave the mansion, she had felt better knowing he was on their side now.

Here, however... Erik was different and hadn't gone through the same enlightenment yet. And Jean never knew how to get through all of that anger and pain. So she just didn't try to.

And now he was gone again but there was little comfort in it. ]

[ He doesn't need to pry to know she hadn't: it's an impossible task on the best of days, let alone for someone who does not bring the history to it that he does. He reaches again for her--a better angle this time that allows him to reach her back--and simply keeps the weight of his hand there. ]

Sweetheart, I can't even get through to him on a good day. None of this is on you. If he's back home, he's where he needs to be, I think.

[ This time, she leans against the hand, comforted and wanting comfort from it. The endearment he reserves for her is welcome, too. It always has a way of making her feel younger than she is. She smiles a little. ]

That's kinda impressive considering how persistent you can be...

[ Just sayin'. ]

[ He chuckles at that; it's better than "overbearing," which Erik would most certainly use in this context. And Raven has more than once and for years. ]

Yes, well, he has some of us beat in the stubbornness department.

[ And some days, he's frankly thankful that influence hadn't been around in their more vulnerable years. ]

We'll learn how to make do. Don't we always?

[ With all they've been through, for all that Charles has done for her, "overbearing" has rarely been what Jean has associated with him. Maybe that just speaks to their relationship and how it started out. She knows she would've been lost without him, his care and guidance when she needed it most. ]

Yeah.

[ Finally, she pulls the blankets down again and shifts herself upward to poke her head out again, red hair messy and strands hanging off the edge of the bed. ]

Ever since I got back... I keep getting cold. I keep expecting to burn the walls again but... it doesn't happen. Even when I have dreams of it.

[ "It" being the bird of fire. ]

Are the dreams different?

[ It's the first question he has to ask. He remembers seeing it upon her arrival in the medbay, and it isn't difficult conjecture to assume it has something to do with her state then and now, but if they're going to understand it at all, they have to start somewhere.

Even if he's not exactly complaining about the lack of scorched walls. ]

[ She shakes her head. ]

It's like... I'm under water again. But fire keeps rolling over it, like it's trying to get in. I hear screaming but I don't know who it is. Sometimes it sounds human, other times it doesn't.

[ She reaches up a hand to rub at her face, feeling tired just recounting it all. How many nights has it caused her to start awake, gasping for air like she can't breathe? ]

Is it affecting anything beyond that? Outside of the dream?

[ It's a question he hasn't asked aloud yet. He's been aware of certain shifts since she'd woken up in the medbay--moreso than the obvious having just woken rather uncomfortably from a coma. The lack of her powers then had been evident, but he'd been reluctant to blame it on anything other than sheer trauma.

Still, he'd seen something similar in her mind then too. To know it hasn't stopped is worrying. He isn't quite sure where to start with this facet of her mutation, or if he's even been wrong in considering it secondary to this point. Lately, it seems rather the opposite. ]

[ She shakes head, ]

I don't think so. It was... hard getting used to my powers. Like I was new to them all over.

[ She reaches up to rub at her face again. ]

I'm just afraid it's going to happen again.

[ She hates admitting it to him but it's the truth. It's the kind of thing that keeps her up some nights. That's been making her stick to interactions through the network and less so in person. ]

[ He gives a soft sigh and squeezes her shoulder again. ] Come here.

[ Some day this will be beyond both of them. These considerations and softer, quiet moments, but for now, it's not a thing Charles worries about. That worry is instead occupied on Jean's behalf: this isn't, after all, the first time they've had a similar conversation. Or the fiftieth. He may still be on the fence, and even slightly irate about what had transpired even leading to all of this, but...well. Outpost or no, this power was going to surface at some point, wasn't it?

She needs comfort, and there is no force in heaven or on Earth or even here that will change the fact that he's willing to give it. Not even the very power that she treads around with such trepidation. ]

You're not alone in this, Jean. I know it's easy to think you are, but we are going to figure this out, alright?

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sorry I got caught up

no worries!

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